Last year I wrote a solution solution to the Jesse puzzle. But it's now out of date, so here is an updated solution:
Hi, I'm Jesse. I'm now 26 months old and can talk and run. My parents are still Mira and James, and if you need help with this puzzle, you should still ask them.
I have only worn diapers at night since Christmas. This is still new and
I am still getting used to it. If I say anything that sounds like
"potty", you should get me to a toilet immediately. You probably have
about 10 seconds. As long as my parents are being attentive, they will
put me on my toilet every 30-60 minutes and it won't be a problem.
Sometimes people don't do everything I want them to. Sometimes this
makes me angry. If it does, I will start screaming, kicking, hitting,
and possibly biting. I will probably fall on the floor while doing all
this. My parents will probably remove me from the room so that I stop
bothering people while they calm me down. This will take them somewhere
between 10 seconds and three hours, depending on some unknown and
unobservable conditions (and how well rested I am).
Now that we are done with the unpleasant things, it's time for the fun parts. In the past year, my vocabulary has increased from about 20 words to several hundred. I will spend most of my time talking. When I meet someone, I like to tell them about the clothes they are wearing. I also like to inform them that they have two eyes. It is very important to me that I verify that everyone has two eyes, so I do it all the time. Some days I tell my mom that our cat Juniper has two eyes every 5-10 minutes, just in case she forgot or didn't notice.
People still have trouble understanding me sometimes. I don't use articles, conjunctions, pronouns or any other words I don't know, so most of my sentences are 2-4 words long and are just a list of nouns, possibly with a verb thrown in somewhere. For example I might say "daddy work" to tell someone that my dad is at work, or "mama blue shirt" to tell someone that my mom is wearing a blue shirt. I don't entirely understand how word order indicates the subject and object of a sentence, so I just assume that the subject and object are the way I want them to be (this applies to what I say and what I hear).
I sometimes repeat the last word or two of whatever anyone says. Apparently this means I am a parrot.
I still have trouble pronouncing m's and b's differently sometimes. I frequently call that yummy white drink that comes from cows "bok." I drop L's in lots of words and I drop other consonants (sometimes whole syllables) in long words.
People sometimes ask me questions. I know they are questions from the intonation. If I don't understand the question, I will generally answer yes (possibly "yep" or "ya"). A fun game to play is to ask me questions like "Are you a super hero?" or "Are you a Higgs-Boson particle?" and see if I claim that I am. I will also be happy to provide advice on how to solve puzzles, as long as that advice can come in the form of answering questions with a yes (or noticing that things have wheels).
I love wheels. I love anything with wheels. When I see a wheel, I want to tell everyone about it, in case they didn't see the wheel. I also like tracks. One time, my parents took me to a room full of dishwashers. It was awesome. Every dishwasher has tracks and wheels. That's why I like them.
I like trains. I like cars. I am pretty good at identifying types of cars, and will point out my friends' cars when I see them, even when they are the wrong color or somebody I don't know is in them.
I'm also good at identifying people. I learn people's names pretty quickly, though I have trouble pronouncing them. I like to talk about my friends. I also like to talk about "podka" (my grandparents).
I am good at identifying colors. I can sometimes identify letters. I can count to two. I can count using other numbers, but they come in a random order interspersed with a lot of 1's and 2's. My concept of numbers is actually one and many, so if I say there are two of something, it really just means there is more than one.
I love books. If you will read a book to me, I will be your friend forever. Please read books to me.
My parents will feed me. But if I see you eating, I might ask you to share your food with me. My parents would prefer if you check with me before feeding me anything, mostly so that they know how much I am eating of different kinds of food. I will say yes if you ask me if I want to eat something, but that is because I like saying yes. It might also mean that I want to eat it, but it might not. My parents would appreciate it if you do not offer me junk food.
