If I'm saying anything with a nasal consonant (M or N), it probably means I'm hungry. Or I'm saying no, which is mostly just a game I play (but I'm starting to mean that I am unhappy about something when I say no). "mi" is milk, "mo" and "mah" mean more (which means food), and "mamami" means mama milk (which means I want to nurse). Sometimes I repeat these words really rapidly and it is hard to tell which one I'm saying. It mostly doesn't matter, because if I'm hungry and get some kind of food it will make me happy.
What I don't eat: candy, cookies, or anything else a responsible parent would call a dessert. Just kidding, I love eating those, but my parents for some reason want me to eat healthy, nutritious food, and I generally don't eat enough of that to be allowed to eat anything else. They say something about wanting me to be healthy and growing. Also, I don't like my food to be sticky or gooey (at least not when I first get it - I like to make my food sticky and gooey by putting it in my mouth for a bit and then taking it back out).
What I do eat: This is the first bonus puzzle. I almost always like crackers, bread, peanut butter, and berries. I eat many other things, but I use a semi-random process to decide what I am willing to eat at any given time. If you offer me some food, I will probably eat it. But maybe not. If I don't want to eat something you are offering me, I will push it away and shake my head no. If you continue shoving it at me, I will start screaming and crying. Nobody wants me to do that, so please don't try to force me to eat things. You should also check with my parents and get a bib before feeding me.
If I give you a book and say anything resembling read (probably "reee", but sometimes "eed"), it means I want you to read the book to me. I might lose interest before you finish and take the book away from you. Don't take it personally, I'm only 14 months old. If you read the whole book and I say anything with a "G" in it (often "geh"), it means I want you to read it again.
If I am crying: This is the second bonus puzzle. About half the time, this means I am tired. About a third of the time, it means someone is doing something somewhat obvious that I don't want them to do (taking me away from my parents, eating food in front of me and not sharing it (that is so rude), playing with MY toys, etc). The rest of the time I have unlocked the super-secret special bonus puzzle. Do not attempt to solve this puzzle. You will fail. My parents have practiced a lot and can generally solve the super-secret special bonus puzzle eventually, but it takes them forever and ever (more than one minute sometimes).
I am still learning to walk. If I fall down and you act like I should cry about falling down, I will. If you calmly say something like "you should be more careful", I will probably just get up and continue whatever I was doing. Unless I'm tired, in which case I will cry anyway. If I start crying, you should look at that section of the solution.
I like to cruise, which means walking around while holding onto things with my hands. I will pull up on anything conveniently close to me when I want to stand up. My minimum standards for pulling up on something are that it be at least three inches tall and doesn't fall over faster than I can stand up. Pants and legs are fun to pull up on. So are chairs, whether people are sitting in them or not. I might decide to pull up on your chair just before you decide to move it to stand up. I like to silently sneak up on chairs while people are sitting in them, but I don't like it when they somehow don't notice that I am there.
My favorite game is peek-a-boo, particularly around corners. My parents make me fall down from laughing so much by suddenly appearing out of nowhere over and over again. It is the best game ever.
I love reading books. I also like carrying books. I like putting toys on my head. I like banging things together. I like knocking over towers of blocks. I'm starting to like stacking things and putting things in containers.
If you give me paper, I will play with it. I will eat it, I will crumple it, and I might even rip it. If you didn't want me to play with your papers, you shouldn't have left them on the floor near me. If you take them away from me and don't give me a different toy, I will probably cry.
I like to stick new toys in my mouth. Don't give me anything that you don't want me to stick in my mouth (such as your phone). Don't give me anything that my parents would not want me to stick in my mouth (particularly pens and pencils).
I like to babble. Often I while repeat a sound over and over again, just for fun. If you repeat it back to me, it will amuse me. Sometimes I tell stories. Sometimes I tell jokes. I like it when people have a conversation with me. I understand a lot of what people say to me, but they don't seem to understand what I say. This doesn't bother me most of the time.
Diapers: This is the third bonus puzzle. I am a mostly potty-trained toddler that wears cloth diapers. I like to use the toilet when my diaper is changed. Most of my diapers have multiple pieces and are generally messy. My parents decided how many diapers to bring for me, and will run out if they are used too quickly. You really don't want to solve this puzzle. My parents are experts at it and will manage just fine. If you want to know more about cloth diapers, you can ask my parents. If you really want to change my diaper, talk to
